Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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