You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
