the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is wine microwaveable?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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