it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
