Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
