remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize