420 ftw
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she looked like the before picture.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
