He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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