His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
