I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
