My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
