I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize