oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
