I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
