Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
