I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
