so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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