I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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