Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
