My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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