why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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