Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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