at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Floor bacon is actually really good
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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