i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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