my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
