There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
