Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize