It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
