areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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