woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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