Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
