Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
