I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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