you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
