Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
