I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you will always have a special place in my vag
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
