after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
