Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just pee around me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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