dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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