How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
