so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
