just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
