Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
