3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
