So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dignity is for republicans.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
