you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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