Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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