Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize