so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
