We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
home. puking in laundry basket.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize