wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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