Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
from now on my penis is your penis
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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