Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize