If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
