He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize