She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
