dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
