Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
