I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
