Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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