Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
