Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
