There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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