im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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