did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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