All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
