He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Terrible idea I love it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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