why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
