Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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