I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
