Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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