How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
