i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize