on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
